Imagine a whistling sound emanating from my lips after I remark in reverentially awestruck tones, “Week 15.” Yes, the time flies. If it were football we’d be preparing for the playoffs. Well, some of us, okay, just me. But as it is, we’re coming down off the high of the AFBall Star game from last weekend. As you know, its a yearly tradition. In the 15th week, we allow the 8 bestest and brightest to have McCall to themselves. Sometimes it is derided as a mere exhibition.; a spectacle, for the over paid and overweight ballers of the AFBL.
Whoever says that is wrong. The game last week was enchanting. There was a palpable sense of urgency between both Pres. Free and Chris to win the game and the MVP award.
How does one go about winning an All Star MVP award in Philadelphia? Kobe Bryant laid out the blueprint years ago. You shoot and shoot and shoot. Then when you’re done doing that, you shoot some more. Kobe, Chris, and John Freeborn all subscribe to the Jim Houser school of thought, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Truer words my friends, truer words.
Chris and John were on opposite teams and attempted to balance each other out. Chris flung more three balls than anyone has ever taken in a game. And these weren’t open looks either. They were dribble to the left pull up and release type shots. He didn’t make very many, but he took an Iversonian-shoot my way out of this funk-stance. It unfortunately never worked out.
Freeborn on the other hand would wait in the farthest reaches of the court where his opponent wouldn’t bother guarding him. I was more often than not the person bringing the ball up the court. I was on Free’s team. I hated giving him the ball. He’d either fling a three or attempt a left handed hook. The result was the same in either case. 0 points. Wheee!
He dribbles a lot too.
At one point I thought, “okay, John doesn’t get the ball anymore.” But you know what? Our opponents knew John would fuck up. They wanted the ball in his hands. Everyone else was guarded so I’d have to dish it to him. And then I’d stand back, face in my hands, silently sobbing about the mockery he was making of basketball. It was bad.
Just when I was about to lose all hope, Freeborn started making shots. Yesterday, John emailed me asking, “where is as blog update? I made 5 3 pointers in a row in the last game.” There is no way that is true, but he did eventually heat up. And so, the MVP of the annual AFBall All Star game is John Freeborn.
HOUSER WATCH: Week 15, Yeah Right!
There is no way Houser is invited to the all star game. Are you kidding me? The guy stinks.