Week 13-Running Numbers

The president returned this weekend, insisting that we keep score with 2’s and 3’s as opposed to 1’s and 2’s.

He didn’t announce this rule until his coach announced Freeborn would attempt to guard myself. Freeborn knew he stood no chance of guarding a real life rifleman. If I chose it, I could play in the NBA. I just happen to love photocopying, so I don’t play pro ball. Freeborn knows this. If I had an opportunity to take a shots worth twice as much as a standard shot, I’d bury the competition. I didn’t mind. We can play with 2’s and 3’s, I’d just like to make sure this is a permanent thing.

The AFBL is an organization of capriciousness. Have you ever played against Crazy Don, or Dr. Hoops as he likely thinks of himself? If you stand in the paint either posting him up or just waiting for a rebound he starts counting to 3. 3 second violations! I don’t think he’d call them, but it’s on his mind.

Fouls are equally arbitrary. I don’t think we need to get into this.

The rules we choose to accept and the rules we choose to ignore is always an interesting spectacle. Personally, I enjoy taking a few steps here and there or switching my pivot foot, but apparently that is frowned upon.
Last week we started with a 4 on 4 game while we waited for other players to show up. When enough people arrived, we ran 5 on 5. The total amount of people at McCall was 12. Two teams of 6 played against each other. Each team had a substitute that was to be subbed in between games.

I hate to sit. I’ll put it out there. I never ever want to sit. I’m not alone. Have you ever really heard anyone volunteer to sit in the first two hours? Since, I’m something of an Alpha Male I took it upon myself to ask my teammates who was going to sit out. Nobody responded. I started singling people out. Do you have any idea how unbearable that is?

I had Christian, AJW, Andrew Freeborn, Mike, and someone else that I can’t remember. Who ever you were, I’m really sorry. This is embarrassing. Anyway, as I said, I really wanted to continue playing so I didn’t volunteer myself. Christian is my favorite player to play with. He runs plays, shoots really well and swings the ball around the perimeter. It’s a real joy to share a backcourt with Christian. Andrew Freeborn is the greatest talent in the AFBL and has a subtle but palpable desire to win every game he plays. So sctach three people off the list of pine riders. AJW is a future HOFer and Mike is really good down low and a solid dude in general. I’m sure whoever I’m forgetting also has positive attributes. Was it Balz Man? If it was, I needn’t go into details about why we want him on the court. Even without the sweats he’s a valuable contributor. After 7 really uncomfortable minutes, the Mexican stand off ended. Someone was willing to sit out. I presume that the other team went through a similar problem. What a bummer for two people to sit.

I remember watching an AFBL video where Andrew Jones was the camera man. He was sitting to film, but only as a sub. He started asking people if they wanted to sit. It’s really funny to hear Andrew say, “Anyone want to sit?” Everyone ignored him like he wasn’t talking. He said it 8 times before anyone took note. Like I said, no one wants to sit. I think it’s harder to sit when its just 1 or 2 people on the bench.

This week, when there were 12 people, the problem could have been averted. We could have run three teams of 4. It’s rough sitting, but not as rough when you are sitting with three other people that really become your teammates. I get really competitive and try to get my team fired up to dethrone whoever just won. Do I want to sit? No! So I avoid that problem by winning. Having 4 people sit, getting rested and fired up to win is an entirely viable alternative to the idea of having to play 5 on 5 with 2 people sitting, getting lonely, feeling rejected, for being told to ride the pine by their teammates. How does that feel?

“Hey-you, yeah, we don’t want you on the court. Yeah, you’re on our team, but we feel like you should sit. What? Why? Oh, no reason in particular.”

The reason we run 5 on 5 is indicative of our capricious nature. We run 5 on 5 because the pros run 5 on 5. While I appreciate this idea, I think it’s worth noting the pros run on a much bigger court. Turns out the pros do a lot of things different.

Next time we have 12 people lets reinforce camaraderie and play 4 on 4.

Or I’ll start calling 3 second violations and dunking on you bitches, just like the pro I could be, if I chose.

HOUSER WATCH: Week 13, Where Was He?Houserrr



Filed under game recap

3 responses to “Week 13-Running Numbers

  1. la_cogburn

    so i went to the sixers/nets game on monday. 100 level seats with reserved parking. sarah and i left home in ye olde newark at 6:05 and were sitting down with a bucket of fries by 6:50. it was sweet.

    quite honestly for a team with 3 superstars (granted jefferson is out) their team sure does stink. on the other hand the sixers stink even worse, they did squeak out a win, but it was like playground ball, not set plays, just players running off of screens, missing rebounds, throwing up ridiculous shots in the lane, triple head fakes, players to scared to shoot.

    it was wierd, i honestly felt at times i could have been on the court hustling, hitting 10 foot baseline jumpers that were so often missed. the dancers are second class and fucking hiphop needs to go. it’s like i was at a UD game. the whole time i was wondering what it would be like to be at a suns or mavericks game.

    i was saddened reflecting back on the days of playoff berths. those games were fun to attend.

    all in all i still had an enjoyable time. now if i can only get my feet on the court.

  2. Bricky Lake

    Like a guy that belongs at the top of the chuckers list, Amarin said he thinks he can play ball in the NBA. That’s what I’m talking about.

  3. A couple of notes on the 3/2, 2/1 question.

    First off, I don’t know what level of math you people made it through but: 1 x 2 = 2, and 1 x 3 = 3, 2 x 8 (made baskets) = 16 points, and 3 x 4 = 12, NOT 16.

    More important than math is statistics. Our entire little stat world is based on 16 point games. 5 and 1/2 seasons are based on this magical number. If we add 3s to the scenario, which I am happy to do, the numbers must add up to 16, or life as we know it ends. Nothing in the stat database will work.


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