The conglomerate called the AFBL takes 3 weeks to rest its weary soul. The 6th season of hoops hampered by horrid play goes on hold for the next 2 weekends. A 3 week rest for the players to recharge before the next phase of the season within the season begins.
Most publications love the year-end wrap up. They take time from their schedules to mail-in articles summarizing the year that was and the year that will be with neat-o top 10 lists. Not the AFBLog. We don’t subscribe to that sort of self-fellatio. Our goal has been clear from the jump-To talk trash and invent circumstance.
The past week, and the week prior, saw a decided drop in attendance. Who knew the ringers would be so intimidated by a locked gate? No, Houser, you are not a ringer, just lazy. The ringer attendance reached a null level last week. John Freeborn’s presidential strong arm tactics worked. The dress code, the required portfolio submission, the introduction of a new game ball, the 3 foul limit and the ban on brawling all led to the complete lack of anyone with talent for basketball appearing at McCall. This astoundingly didn’t impact the play. If anything the play improved. More passing and more running seemed to be prevalent last week.
This may have arisen thanks to the overall lack of people, not simply ringers. We played 4 on 4 a few times which made the court wide open. As opposed to the overwhelming, overflowing attendance of 15 plus, we attracted 10 plus. One of the most exciting aspects of the 15 plus crowd is the unbearable wait when your team loses. I do mean ‘your’ because My team never loses. I just won’t let it happen. In the time when your team loses, you sit on the sidelines cracking wise with your pals impatiently awaiting your turn to play. When only ten or so players show, there are no breaks, no nothing, simply straight balling. And what happens? People start sucking wind like it’s a commodity with more appeal and scarcity than a PS3. Or a Wii, in President Freeborn’s honor. One game in, my lungs burned and I breathed louder than anyone else. But I played until my legs fell off, as did most people. Those that left early had already put in a solid three hours of play. They were smart enough to realize they wouldn’t be able to stand come night time if they stuck around much longer. The games ebbed and flowed from 4 on 4 to 5 on 5 to the lifers sticking around for games of 3 on 3.
Due to the dearth of ringers it was all grit out there. Grit vs. Grit seems silly so Crazy Don, who was in attendance, re-named the squads the Wildcats and the Scorpions. I’m not sure where these names came from but as a Scorpion I can assure you, a Scorpion is a Scorpion for life. And not to be messed with.
The Wildcats who played using a playbook written in an obsolete vernacular lost all but one contest. But who is keeping track of such things, right? I mean we’re out there for fun. But more importantly to win. And winning in a true AFBL game, no ringers is what the holidays are all about. So enjoy the break, check back because I might actually finish the War and Peace sized blog entry that is the top 7 AFBL chuckers and post it in the interim. I also have a lengthy explanation as to why I am not that good at basketball coming up, plus have you heard they are trading A.I.? Crazy, right?
HOUSER WATCH: Week 8, Blaggot?
Mr. Jim Houser joined the ranks of AFBLog authors at the end of the last week. We’ll see how long this lasts. The year prior, Houser attempted to assemble an all white fantasy basketball team. He was close to achieving his goal until he forgot his password and was unable to log in to the website. He is not the sharpest stud in the saloon.
His introductory remarks mentioned something about keeping the artistic element in the AFBL. I believe he even called himself an expert on art. I feel a moderate amount of umbrage with this statement, for I have spoken with Houser about his art. We all do art. Jimmy has been lucky enough to take off and achieve a great deal of success. Of all the AFBLers, clearly he’s attained the greatest amount of artistic achievement. However this is a relative scale. Yet it seems to inflate his ego. How so? Glad you asked. Once while speaking with Mr. Houser, he compared himself in earnest to Picasso. I like Jim, I like his art, but he is no Picasso. And to compare himself to Pablo immediately discredits his status as the blog’s art expert. Imagine I called myself the blog basketball expert. A reader might say, “Okay, maybe, but why?”
Would they trust me if I were to respond: “Well you see, I play in the AFBL. I play point guard, just like Allen Iverson. As a matter of fact, I think I’m just as good as Allen Iverson. I’m just in a different situation than he is. Because I am just as good as Allen Iverson at basketball, I am the expert in basketball.” I doubt they would trust me. I am all for Houser writing about art, let’s just ease up on the whole expert claim.
The reason I am writing about this is because once again Houser failed to show up at McCall. It is well and good to keep the A in the AFBL, but it seems to me, it’s considerably more important to put some B in the AFBL. Houser took a month off from playing basketball. There hasn’t been much to watch.